Valentine's Day Layouts for the Single Girl!

Alright, so it is well into March everyone has there awesome Valentine's Day pictures printed off and are anxiously awaiting to get all their hearts and flowers scrapbook paper to cherish the memories of a fantastic V-Day, full of romance!  While I am all for cherishing precious memories into the next lifetime (or until the next time my child or dog decides to make me consider taking one or both of them to the shelter after eating/tearing/utterly mutilating a scrapbook or layout) I tend to have one essential element missing from my Valentine's Day (and essentially all of my romantic experiences)....another person.  So I will now expand upon what I can do to use up all of this fantastic hearts, flowers, and butterflies paper.  I shall do so with a Top Ten Countdown for your viewing pleasure.

10.  I could technically devote an entire scrapbook page to my "significant other", but that may be awkward for people to look at and then ask awkward questions like "Oooohhh, is he waterproof?"  or "Wow!  Runs on C batteries, must've cost you a fortune!" Not to mention the fact I would have to make sure the layout would fit a panoramic photo (rim shot)!

9.  I could devote an entire page to my other significant other (read "the guy I stalk").  It could be amazing!  All of the photos could be taken with a cool binoculars outline around the edge, or through a window.  If he is "cheating on me" I could just try to photoshop myself over the hope-smashers face!  Score! 

8.  Scrapbook yourself with a celebrity!  Yay!  You may have never been able to meet a millionaire celebrity, but with the life-changing program I call photoshop, your friends never have to know!  What the heck, put yourself in an amazing designer gown too!

7.  Devote an entire page to your favorite celebrity couple!  This needs no additional explanation, Superfan!  Show how much you care!  Maybe even send it to them, Creeper!  You have nothing to lose and you likely already have a restraining order!

6.  Devote an entire page to your favorite non-celebrity couple!  Random people who seem to have the whole "love thing" fiigured out!  They love it when you take their pictures at random!  The creepy couple that you stare at and question how they met someone while you sit at home alone (with the exception of your genetically engineered 2-year-old, your mom and your dog)....Smile! *click*

5.  Devote a page to other amazing partnerships!  Milk and Honey!  Bread and Butter!  Salt and Pepper!  Rum and Coke!  Vodka and.....ANY LIQUID!  The list goes on! 

4.  Really great business deals!  Ever since Anheuser met Busch and Johnson met.....well, uh, Johnson....the world was forever changed!  Ford and Lincoln, Procter and Gamble, Alltel and Verizon!  The list goes on!

3.  Bonnie and Clyde!  What a romance!  Death, deception, crime!  That hasn't existed in a relationship since....well the last time I watched COPS (which wasn't really that long ago, honestly!)

2.  People I plan on dating!  Take the guess-work out of it for them and save time in the future!  You can imagine tons of fun things you could do once they start returning your calls!  Hurray!  Scrapbook page is done!  Now we can start living the dream, TOGETHER!

1.  Scrapbook pictures of me and my daughter.  While this would make sense, I feel it would give people the impression that I am a super-mom...until my daughter tells you that your breath smells like farts, and I can't deal with that look of disappointment from my peers.,

What was I THINKING?!

So I am starting a blog based on my dealings with my Type-B personality (read "life of total disarray") and my attempt at scrapbooking and peddling the materials.  Here's my story: I am a completely average mom, who is single, lives with my mom and has completely sub-par scrapbooking/creativity skills.  But like many other moms I strive to be that woman who can have a delicious, home made dinner on the table and my child wearing clothes that I threw together in the morning before work with fabric leftover from the quilt I just made.  I long for people to say "I just don't see how you do it!  A full time job!  A well behaved child!  Such talent!"  At this point I mostly hear things like "I can't believe you have managed to keep that aloe plant alive for over a month!" (Just kidding!  The aloe plant is dead.) or "No, no, no, I am CERTAIN I can find someone else to watch my pet while I am out of town!" or even "Is that naked little girl over there singing and having a conversation with herself, yours?"  (Yep!  She's mine!).  While I am not sure when my life took this tragic turn (likely around year 2 when I started making my own choices) I am trying to go against 30 years of genetics and poor habits to become the ideal mom!  However, I refuse to really change any bad habits.  So let this be a guide to you for how to remain Type-B while effectively documenting EVERY SECOND of your life with the best and most talented people around!  I have some questions and concerns that will be addressed.  I plan on posting on a weekly basis and will give Type-B moms the confidence and knowledge to compete with those overly organized Type-A's!